


Coffee Cups // Phone Calls

by broken_boiz_in_love



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Coffee Shops, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Diego Hargreeves-centric, Diego flirts for him, Diego is a good bro, Diego loves exactly half of his siblings, Gen, I fix it by the end, Klaus gets a boyfriend, M/M, Number Five is a brat, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Pansexual Klaus Hargreeves, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Sad!Klaus, bahahahhahahaha, but I love him anywaaay, heads up tho - I wrote him like a brat, it's okay tho, you guys it's SO awkward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22942657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_boiz_in_love/pseuds/broken_boiz_in_love
Summary: Five wants a decent cup of coffee. Klaus wants to make a connection with someone who isn't dead. Diego just wants a good night's sleep. OR - Five and Klaus drag Diego to a coffee shop at 3:00 a.m.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 3
Kudos: 210





	Coffee Cups // Phone Calls

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally so fucking random omg. I wrote this on a whim and I never worked out the timeline, so it's wonky af. Just expect to not understand when this takes place during the show bc it doesn't but it doesn't take place after the show so . . . AU???
> 
> Capisce?

Diego jolted awake. There was someone outside his door. He knew it, although couldn't say exactly how he knew. His first instinct was to leap out of bed and begin throwing razor-sharp knives with impossible precision. But Diego knew that would get himself and possibly his siblings killed. Instead, he slid quietly out of bed and retrieved his knives from where they sat inches from his bedside. He could hear the intruder's soft breathing and see the long shadows creep underneath his door. Diego crept soundlessly closer, but before he could assess the situation any further, the door swung open.

Startled, Diego swung his knives in a sharp arc so they pressed dangerously against the intruder's neck. Five was not impressed. He eyed his brother coolly, unswayed by the knife at his throat.

"Jesus _Christ,_ Five,'' Diego gasped.

"Hello Diego.''

"Wha— What the hell are you doing here?" Diego demanded.

Five glanced at the unmoved knives. "Do you mind?''

Diego let his hands drop. He sheathed his knives and crossed his arms. "You're going to get yourself killed, you little prick. Well? What are you doing here?''

Five was fully dressed in his Academy uniform. "I was hoping to get a decent cup of coffee.''

Diego blinked. "What?''

Five gave a long-suffering sigh. "Last time I left without telling anyone, I thought Luther was going to have an aneurysm. Remember how he and Allison made me promise to let one of you know before I leave the Academy again? Well, I'm letting you know. Goodbye now.'' Five turned and began to walk away, but Diego grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back into his room. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Five. You're not going anywhere.''

"I already told you, Diego. I'm going to go find a _decent cup of coffee._ ''

"Not alone, you're not,'' Diego retorted.

Shrugging carelessly, Five offered, "you're welcome to come along if you want. But although I don't look it, I'm just as old as you are — older, even. We've been over this before.''

"It doesn't matter how old you actually are,'' said Diego, "you still look thirteen. That makes you an easy target for . . . well, everyone. And that Handler bitch is probably still after you anyway.''

"I'm leaving now,'' Five informed him. He pulled away and started down the hall.

Diego swore. "Hold up. I'll be there in a minute.''

He sluggishly changed into some jeans and pulled a jacket over his pajama shirt. Rubbing his eyes, Diego glanced at the clock. 3:24 A.M. He groaned inwardly. He really was too tired for this shit. But he couldn't just let his brother go off in the middle of the night by himself. He didn't have much of a choice. So he met Five at the front door, begrudgingly agreeing to drive him to a coffee shop.

"Hey, where are you guys going?'' said a sleepy voice behind them.

Diego and Five turned around to see Klaus standing a couple yards away, rubbing his bloodshot eyes. His feet were bare and he was wearing only an oversized sweater and some ratty old pajama pants that clung loosely to his narrow hips.

Five plastered a fake smile. "Coffee. Go back to bed, Klaus. Now.''

"What are you doing up?'' Diego asked a little more gently.

Klaus yawned. "Getting a drink.''

"Oh, Klaus,'' Diego groaned. Klaus had been constantly in and out of drug and alcohol addiction rehab since his teenage years. Usually, it was Diego who had to drag Klaus's drunk ass home after a long night. Recently though, Klaus had been doing much better and Diego had hoped that it would stay that way. The years of substance abuse had already taken its toll on Klaus, leaving him pale and emaciated. Diego tried to hide his concern for his brother. But when Klaus awakened in the middle of the night to drink, Diego couldn't conceal his worry. "Klaus,'' he began slowly, "why don't you put away Dad's alcohol and come with us . . . for coffee . . . at three in the morning.''

Klaus lit up."Yeah, coffeeeeee!"

Five gave Diego a seething _are you fucking kidding me?_ glare. Diego shrugged. He was already going to all this trouble for one brother; might as well invite a second.

"Let's go,'' Five snapped.

Klaus bounced forward, grinning delightedly.

"Do you want to like . . . put on shoes at least?'' asked Diego.

"Nah, I'm good.'' Klaus skipped to the door, heaved it open, and slipped out into the night. Five begrudgingly followed him.

"Shit,'' Diego breathed as he stepped out into the chilly night air. The courtyard was quiet, completely still. It deeply unnerved him. He felt like stabbing something. But the silence was soon disturbed by Klaus and Five arguing over the front seat.

"I'm older,'' Five insisted.

"But Diego likes me better,'' Klaus whined.

"That's his problem.''

Klaus looked offended. "That's mean! Diego, tell Five to stop bullying me!"

"Shut up, both of you, _please,''_ Diego groaned. "No one gets the front seat. And Five, be nice.''

Five pouted, but climbed into the back of the car.

Klaus leaned close to Diego and whispered, "can I have it on the way home?''

"If you behave yourself.''

Klaus winked lopsidedly and clambered into the back next to Five. Five scooted away.

"What about Ben?'' Klaus asked suddenly. "He doesn't have room with us both back here.''

Diego's skin prickled. He glanced back at Five who looked slightly uncomfortable as well. "Is he here?'' Diego asked slowly.

Klaus nodded.

"Can . . . can you tell him to move to the front seat?''

Klaus addressed the empty space between him and Five. "Hey, buddy, can you move up by Diego? It's so you can have more room. Okay. Thank you.''

Diego started the car, trying not to think about his dead brother who was now apparently seated next to him. Klaus and Five began bickering again as he pulled out of the quiet courtyard into the quiet streets. The streetlights flickered over the pavement. Every window and door was shut, all indoor lights off. The city was asleep, except for three of the living Hargreeve brothers and the dead one.

"Where exactly do you want to go?'' Diego asked Five after a few minutes.

"I don't know,'' replied Five. "Some place that's open and has—"

"A decent cup of coffee,'' Diego finished for him, "I get it.''

Finding someplace open that met Five's requirements proved to be harder than expected. They drove around for half an hour, before Five told Diego to park at some shady little coffee shop. It was dimly lit inside, with one or two people milling around behind a counter.

Diego pulled into the nearly empty parking lot. Five was out before Diego even had time to turn off the engine.

"Hey — wait!'' Diego fumbled with his seatbelt and scrambled out of the car. He jogged to catch up with Five, who was already halfway across the parking lot. Diego made Five wait for Klaus, who was taking his time to cross the dark lot.

When Klaus reached his brothers, Five demanded, "What the hell, Klaus?''

"I was just enjoying the walk,'' said Klaus simply. "Don't be such a cranky dipshit all the time.''

"Let's go,'' said Diego.

"We're not as bad as you and Luther,'' Klaus pointed out.

_"_ _Let's go,''_ Diego repeated. "I'm freezing my ass off out here.''

"I can walk fast when I want to,'' said Klaus, picking up his pace.

The coffee shop was nearly empty. There were no other customers at that early hour. It was decorated like a flower shop, with brightly colored potted plants on every table and paintings of vast gardens hanging on the walls. Diego thought it would have been pretty in daylight.

Only two people had the unfortunate late — or early, depending on how one looks at it — shift. The first was a young woman with close-cropped red hair and multiple piercings. She was sitting on the counter with a laptop resting on her crossed legs, guzzling a large iced coffee. Probably a college student trying to make ends meet, Diego realized. The second barista was older, maybe late twenties or early thirties. He had wavy blond hair that nearly brushed his shoulders. He somehow was able to pull off round wire-frame glasses that made his deep brown eyes look neither too large or too small. He was leaning against the wall, flipping through a thick novel.

"Stay close,'' Diego murmured to his brothers as they walked up to the counter.

Both baristas looked up. The girl surveyed the three new customers. She glanced disinterestedly at her coworker. The male barista nodded, dog-eared the page he was on, and straightened. "I've got this one, Nessa.''

Nessa went back to furiously typing on her laptop.

He sauntered up to where the Hargreeves waited at the counter. He propped himself up on the countertop, palm out, and leaned forward. "Hello there.'' A winning smile. "Welcome to Sunflower Caffe. My name is Andrew and I will be helping you out this morning. Or evening. Whichever you'd prefer.''

Klaus moved closer to Diego.

"Now what can I get for you gentlemen?'' Andrew asked brightly.

"Black coffee. The best you've got,'' said Five breezily.

"Same for me,'' Diego said, trying not to cringe at Five's rudeness.

"Okaaaay.'' Andrew typed it into register. "Got it.'' He looked up and addressed Klaus, smiling that dazzling smile. "What about you?''

Klaus blinked and made a sound that was in-between a sigh and whimper. He moved even closer to Diego. Diego had never known Klaus to be shy before. He wasn't the most social person, but he'd never been afraid to talk to someone if he must. Diego elbowed him.

"U-um uh,'' Klaus stuttered. "I'll have coffee . . . with some milk and extra— Do you have honey?''

"Absolutely!'' Said Andrew. "Do you want that hot or iced?''

"Iced,'' Klaus murmured.

"Alrighty, we have two cups of black coffee and one iced coffee with milk and extra honey,'' Andrew read off the register. "Does that sound right.''

"Yeah, thanks,'' said Diego and handed Andrew a ten dollar bill.

Andrew briefly counted the change and handed it back to Diego. "We'll have it out to you in a minute.''

Diego and Five went to find a table, but Klaus lingered. Andrew noticed and asked in a friendly voice, "anything else I can help you with?''

Klaus shook his head quickly.

"Oh ok.'' Andrew's gaze rested on Klaus.

"Thanks.'' Klaus smiled.

They stared at each other for another moment.

Then Nessa finished her coffee and began chomping loudly on the ice and the spell was broken. Klaus turned and hurried to the table where Diego and Five sat.

"The hell was that?'' asked Diego as soon as Klaus sat down.

"Nothing,'' Klaus muttered, but Diego saw that his narrow cheeks were tinted pink.

They sat in silence for another minute until Andrew brought out a tray with two steaming cups of coffee and one iced. Five accepted his without any sign of gratitude, but after he tasted it, he had the decency to thank their barista. Andrew laughed and said, "you're welcome.'' Diego muttered his thanks and Andrew acknowledged him as well, but he paused when he handed Klaus his drink. "Extra honey,'' he told him.

"Thank you,'' said Klaus and reverently accepted the disposable plastic cup as if it was a gift from God.

"Enjoy yourselves,'' Andrew said to the entire table, but he was looking at Klaus. "Come again soon.''

Klaus made a choked noise and began sipping his coffee furiously, eyes averted. But he watched as Andrew walked back to the counter. Diego raised his eyebrows.

"You know,'' said Five, eyeing Klaus over his wide-rimmed cup, "it wouldn't be hard to just ask him out.''

This time Klaus actually did choke. _"The— Fuck?''_ He coughed. Andrew glanced up concernedly from behind the counter. Diego gave him an awkward thumbs up to assure him 911 was not needed at the moment.

"Just thought it should be said.'' Five shrugged. "If you're going to watch the swing of his hips and stare at his ass while he walks away, then you should probably be the first to make a move.''

Klaus coughed again, before looking up with terrified eyes. _"No!"_ He hissed. "I —" cough "can't!''

"Why not?'' Five asked nonchalantly.

Klaus's pleading gaze turned to Diego for help.

"Let him be, Five.'' Diego wasn't aware that Five knew Klaus was interested in men. It was a touchy topic because of a time-travel mishap that had left Klaus with a broken heart. His brother had recounted the devastating tale to Diego one drunk night and Diego had been unsure how to behave, but comforted Klaus just the same. Klaus didn't usually show that level of vulnerability, so Diego had naturally assumed he was the only Hargreeve sibling to know about the incident. Maybe Klaus had found time to tell the others. Or maybe Five was just that intuitive and had figured out everything about every one of his siblings. That, Diego realized, was more likely.

Five sipped his coffee judgmentally.

Klaus shifted self-consciously in his chair. His eyes were still fixed on Andrew. The barista stole a glance towards him, their eyes met, and Klaus ducked his head, flushing.

Diego sighed. It was a bit ridiculous. He wasn't sure how two people so obviously interested in one another could be so dodgy. "Just go talk to him,'' he attempted. ("Hypocrite,'' Five muttered.)

"Christ no!" Klaus gasped.

"Why is this so difficult?'' Diego asked. "Come on. This isn't like you.''

Klaus opened his mouth to respond, but promptly shut it again.

"Klaus, please,'' said Diego more gently. "We've always been able to talk.''

"I just . . . I don't know . . . after Dave, I . . .'' Klaus struggled.

Ah. So this was Klaus being afraid of the possibility of starting a new relationship after losing the only partner he'd ever really loved. Probably also a feeling of guilt for moving on.

Diego sat back. He was unsure of what to say now. "Klaus, I understand what Dave meant to you. And I understand what losing him felt like.'' This was painfully true. "But I don't think he would want you to hold off on other relationships because of him. He would want you to be happy.''

Klaus rubbed his reddening eyes and sniffed. "Yeah. You're right.''

"This coffee is passably decent,'' Five commented.

"So go ask him out!'' Diego urged.

"Will you do it for me, Diego?'' Klaus shook his coffee gently, watching the honey swirl around.

"Oh, shit,'' Five snorted.

Diego stared at him.

"You do realize, Klaus,'' said Five, gulping down the last of his coffee, "that you just asked your straight vigilante brother to flirt with a gay barista stranger for you?''

Klaus's pleading eyes bore through Diego.

Diego sighed and stood up. A smile lit Klaus's expression.

"The things I do for my brothers,'' Diego muttered as he headed towards the counter.

Nessa didn't look up as he approached. Andrew met him at the counter. "Do you need anything else?" He asked with his charming politeness.

"Yeah, uh, so you see my brother over there?'' Diego jerked his head towards the table where Klaus and Five sat.

Andrew nodded, eyes on Klaus, who was pretending to be disinterested.

"So . . .'' Diego wanted to sink through the floor. "He's wondering if you would be interested in . . . seeing him . . . sometime?''

A slow smile spread across Andrew's face. "Yeah! Uh, yeah, hang on!" He ducked behind the counter for a moment and reappeared with a pen and a slip of paper. He began scribbling a number down and handed the paper to Diego. "Tell him to call me . . . sometime.''

"Okay, thanks.'' Diego accepted the paper, grateful the conversation was over and it had gone so smoothly. He turned away to walk back to the table.

"You're a good brother,'' Andrew called after him. Diego stopped. "Not many guys would take their brothers to get coffee in the middle of the night and get one a date while he's at it. Why do you do it?''

"Because they ask me to,'' said Diego, surprised by the sudden personal question, "and I guess I love them too much to say no.''

He returned to the table, stirred by Andrew's and his own words. Klaus leaned forward expectantly.

Diego handed him the piece of paper with Andrew's number. "He wants you to call him.''

Klaus grinned. "Thanks, Diego.''

Diego shrugged. "You two about ready to go? If we're not back by the time Luther wakes up, we're screwed.''

Five stood up and wordlessly headed for the door. Klaus got up more slowly and again took his time shuffling his bare feet across the coffee shop. Just before leaving, Klaus glanced back at Andrew, who winked. Klaus lifted a hand in a slight wave and slipped through the door.

They were quiet on the drive back to the Academy. The previous argument over the passenger seat had been long forgotten, so Klaus and Five were both seated in the back, uncomplaining. They both silently stared out their windows. Five looked thoughtful, his chin propped up on one hand. He looked a little sleepy despite the coffee he'd just had, which Diego thought was justified but ironic just the same.

Klaus had his long legs pulled up to his chest. He appeared wide-awake and was staring out his window with a smile playing on his lips. Diego knew exactly what he was thinking about. Who he was thinking about. He felt like this knowledge was an intrusion of something deeply personal. He couldn't help it though. It wasn't his fault he knew Klaus so well — sometimes, _too_ well. But maybe it was.

Diego just focused on not falling asleep while driving. The early morning coffee had not done much to wake him back up. It was nearly 6:00 a.m. now. That meant the city was waking. A few businesses had their lights on already. They passed several other cars. There were even a couple people hurrying down the sidewalks. It was unfortunately too late for Diego to go back to bed once they returned to the Umbrella Academy, unless he settled for a twenty minute power-nap (which he did not). Diego really wasn't too happy with this prospect; early mornings made long days.

Something suddenly stirred in the seat next to Diego. He glanced over. There was a familiar presence. One Diego could not immediately identify. He looked back at Klaus, who remained staring dreamily out the window. Five was undisturbed as well. For once, Diego didn't need Klaus to name the presence. He knew. _Hey Ben,_ he thought. _Could you hear me if I spoke to you?_ Diego had always wondered, but never bothered to ask Klaus. He struggled with letting people know he cared. He wasn't sure why he was so defensive — especially with his family. But he made a point to ask Klaus later, when it was just the two of them. Klaus owed him, anyway. Five technically did too, but Diego expected no gratitude or favors in return. That was just Five.

When Diego really thought about it, he didn't even want gratitude. Sure, he deserved it. But Five and Klaus were his brothers. Even though they were a pain in his ass on a regular basis, Diego loved them. He didn't mind doing things for them, not really. He remembered how Klaus had never mocked him for his struggle with a stutter when they were children. Not once. A few times when Luther was being merciless about it, Klaus had even stood up for him, telling Luther to _"shut his goddamn fat mouth and stop being a dick"._ Diego smiled at the memory.

Diego also remembered, less happily, how much he'd missed Five when he disappeared. God, how he'd missed him. He remembered the long nights he'd been kept awake, wondering if his brother was even still alive and if he was, wondering what he was doing that exact moment. Where was he? Was he ever going to come back? Diego had eventually given up on Five returning home. He'd moved on long ago. But now Five was home. He hadn't changed a bit, even while the other Hargreeves were completely different from the way they were as troubled child heroes. Diego had not yet had the proper amount of time to fully process this until now. He realized just how glad he was Five had returned.

As he pulled back into the Academy driveway, Diego let out a sigh of relief. He was reconsidering not going back to sleep. Even if he did stay awake, there would be a good hour of quiet morning before Luther and Allison awakening and started pissing everyone off with their annoying questions and starry gazes. But then Diego noticed some of the lights were on inside the large building. Five must have noticed too because he craned his neck to get a better view and loudly declared, "shit.''

"What's shit?'' Klaus asked cheerfully.

"Luther and Allison are awake,'' Diego growled, throwing off his seatbelt.

"Why's that such a problem?''

"We didn't leave a note,'' said Five. He had never put on his seatbelt in the first place and was instead pushing the door open.

"I still don't understand why that's such a— Hey! Wait for me!'' Klaus scrambled out of the car behind his brothers.

When the three brothers burst into the entry hall they were met with a very startled exclamation.

"God!" Allison cried, spinning around to face them from where she was talking to Luther and Vanya.

Luther also had a look of shock on his face, but it was quickly replaced with anger. He stomped up to Diego. "Where the _hell_ have you been?!''

Diego pushed him away. "How is that any of your business?'' Then he caught sight of Vanya. "The better question is, why the hell is _she_ here?''

Vanya's gaze fell to the floor.

"We called her,'' Allison began to explain. "When we woke up and you three were gone without any indication of where, when, or how, we naturally assumed the worse and called Vanya. We . . .'' She trailed off and anger crossed her beautiful face. "We were worried sick!"

"How flattering,'' simpered Five. "But we're fine. Excuse me.'' He started towards the stairs to go back to his room, but Luther put a sturdy arm out to block his way.

"Hang on,'' said Luther. "Where did you go?''

Five hefted a great sigh and shot a long-suffering look at Diego and Klaus. "In search of a decent cup of coffee in this shit-city.''

"In the _middle of the night?_ " Allison was incredulous.

"Yes!'' Five snapped. "Now let me go, Luther!''

"Wait, hang on—" Luther began, but Five had vanished. In a moment, he reappeared at the top of the staircase. He smirked at his siblings and flounced out of sight. Luther let loose a frustrated sigh. Then he turned back to Diego. "A thirteen year-old child asked you to take him to get coffee in the middle of the night and you just . . . did it? Are you insane?''

"He would have gone anyway,'' Diego retorted. "I could either let him go alone or join him.''

Luther was about to reply, but Vanya cut in. "It doesn't seem like he had much of choice, Luther. This whole thing has been a false-alarm; everyone's okay! So can we just—"

"Do what? Forget the whole thing happened?'' Luther demanded.

Vanya dropped her gaze again.

"Yes,'' said Allison firmly, surprising everyone. "We thought our siblings were in danger. They're not; they never were. So now we should be able to just go back to normal. Right?'' She said it to everyone, but her eyes were flitting back from Luther to Diego, demanding a truce.

"Right,'' said Klaus with a yawn. "I'm going back to bed. I have an important call to make this afternoon and tonight might be a long night.'' He winked at Diego and clapped him on the shoulder. "Thanks, brother." Then he headed up the stairs.

Luther, Allison, and Vanya all exchanged confused looks, but no one ventured to ask any questions.

"Look, I'm tired,'' said Diego, after a long silence. "I'm going to try to get some sort of rest. I appreciate the concern.'' This last part wasn't necessarily true, but he felt like he should show some remorse for Allison's distress at least.

"Truce?'' Luther said begrudgingly.

"Yeah, fine. Truce.'' Diego smirked. "For now.'' Then he headed upstairs for some well-deserved sleep at long last.

**Author's Note:**

> Capisco.


End file.
